About Me

Salutations, Saluton, Salame, Kremnotts! 


Hello!

Thank you for stopping by my blog, I am your humble author, Reverend Guimo, and here is my tale.


I’m a blogger, college student, toy collector, and ordained minister in a religion of my own making. I'm also fairly apolitical, but I tend to lean Libertarian (I guess, I don't really care actually.)


www.themonastary.org

Legally, I am ordained through the Universal Life Church Monastery, and I can legally marry couples in the state of NY. So far I have married one couple, and I think I have two more on my calendar within the next year. My true ordainment came from "Bob", but more on that later.



https://aui.me/

I awarded myself an Honorary Doctorate in Divinity & Pop Cultural Studies from Abide University & Intitute.

I'm originally from the Lower East Side of New York City (from the Bowery/St. Mark's area), but I currently reside in (ugh) Queens.  I was the first member of my family to be born in The United States. My family originated from Chile, specifically the Coquimbo/Ovalle region. My great-great grandmother was a member of the Mapuche tribe in Chile, while my great-great grandfather may have migrated to Chile from either France or Yugoslavia (I honestly can't remember at the moment.)

Many of the customs of the Mapuche have been lost to my family for sometime now, but we still practice what's called the "Naturalista" lifestyle. We prefer natural homemade medicines and foods before anything else. I myself can brew kombuchas, fire ciders, and make fermented foods. Normally, I will make a giant jug for fire cider for the winter months. 

I am perpetually in my final year of college, majoring in Philosophy. I’m fairly well read when it comes to philosophy, and global religions. Much to the chagrin of my professors I tend to focus a lot more on weird religions and the occult because I find them the most interesting and life giving. I find these strange groups vital to my existence.



My main hobby, besides watching strange films, is toy collecting. Now I can't say this with 100% confidence, but that may have been my mother's fault. She really enjoyed buying me small toys from the pharmacy or wherever when I was small and it just became something we did together at a certain point. Gumby's, Ninja Turtles, Batman toys, etc. We both just enjoyed searching for fun stuff to add to the pile.



I don't do much with this hobby really. I don't do trades, or sell online. I simply collect for the joy of collecting. It was never my intention to use this hobby to make a profit like so many people do these days. 



At a certain point in my teenage years, I donated a bunch of my old toys to my poorer relatives in Chile so that the kids could have something to play with. I don't necessarily regret that decision, but I do find myself hunting for toys now that I had a kid. 



I'm a member of multiple different spiritual groups and organizations that are all over the spectrum of esoteric thought. My very first step into this weird realm of spiritual pursuit was very subtle. I had purchased a membership card to The 24-Hour Church of Elvis from a local novelty stop here in NYC. That was almost 20 years ago and I still carry that card with me in my wallet to this very day. 

And as a side note, I also used this same I.D. to sneak into bars and clubs when I was teenager. Truly, this membership card was my ticket to adventure!


The 24-Hour Church of Elvis membership card

Sadly, this church no longer exists and is defunct, or possibly, it has ascended to a higher plane. In any case, since then my adventure through spirituality has taken me to many places and groups where I studied and gained greater insight into the world around me and within.


J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

Most promenantly, for this blog anyway, I found my way to the infamous Church of the SubGenius and its High Epopt, the much celebrated J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. It is through this church where my studies took me to much weirder places, securing my place in true abnormality. I've relished every second of it. 


www.subgenius.com


Actually, this blog is mostly empowered by SubGenius bulldada philosophy, so, if the stuff here makes no sense to you maybe you should consider joining and paying "Bob" your dues. It could be your only hope for eternal salvation! (and to understand this blog)



Zontar of Venus

And actually, this blog was hugely inspired by the work of Zontar of Venus.  Without the works of Zontar; his art, videos, and propaganda, I'm not sure this blog would have blossomed to what it has finally become. 






https://principiadiscordia.com/

fnord

Through the Church of the SubGenius I learned about The Discordian Society. Discordians look to Eris, goddess of discord, for wisdom. I myself have also followed Eris, and she has shared with me many strange and beautiful vision. 


Bulldada Holy Books

The Book of the SubGenius and The Principia Discordia are two books I keep close to my heart, and although are are many books attached to these timeless works of literature I will still always turn to these first for guidance. 


Through these groups I learned to enjoy schisms in these weird groups, and as such I found myself joining various groups that were associated, if only in tone and aesthetic with these two strange counter-culture groups. "Bob" says we must all go create our own religions, and, there's an old Discordian saying; "All Discordians must stick apart!"


First Church of Dana Scully, Scientist
The First Church of Dana Scully, Scientist (FCDSS), was founded by Pontifex Maximus J. R. "Jeffery" Sommer for the veneration of that red-headed angel, Dana Scully, as portrayed by the magnificent Gillian Anderson. The Scully faith is one not too dissimilar to Taoism or Confucianism, in that, it is both a philosophy and a religion all at once. And in this faith, we practice is a sort of hopeful, if not sarcastic, agnosticism towards the mysteries of the universe. It's quite liberating, really.

Currently, I am the reigning Nomarch of New York through the FCDSS, and, I designed the membership cards myself, and I continue to design the sacred items for the church. Currently, I run a small blog for the NY Chapter of the FCDSS: FCDSSNY

Another group very closely associated with the SubGenius and Discordians that I ended up joining was The Holy Order of the Sasquatch. As a Knight in this order, I help protect the imaginary world from the evil forces of Incorrection! Joining this group was important because it brought with it a new term I hadn't heard before, but it did a great job at describing all of this counter-culture mockery religion stuff: MetaOccult. 


www.saintbigfoot.com
I think it's a wonderful term. If you were to dysect the word it would mean something like, "the unknown knows itself".  The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. 

Through the tutelage of Saint Bigfoot, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, and Eris of Discordia, I have been able to understand the world as it is, and, as I want it to be. Somehow, I've made peace with it all and find myself questing forward for even more bulldada and Slack.



Slack is a vital element to the SubGenius lifestyle. A great deal of my Slack comes from my hobbies; philosophical thought, rare books, toy collecting, and strange movies. It is a multi-faceted concept that permeates like a sort of aether throughout the cosmos. A neutral point where even Heaven itself can become a physical realm where we can exist. 

The attainment of Slack might take eons, but we can grasp at it in small bunches. For example, my favorite musician is the amazing David Liebe Hart of "Tim & Eric" fame. I support his work via Bandcamp and I am a proud member of his fan club. David's music has helped me through some tough times and has brought me so much joy. If this isn't Slack in music form, I don't know what is. 


https://davidliebehart.bandcamp.com/dlh-vip-fan-gang


Another aspect of my Slack is my appreciation for strange cinema. Now, I use the phrase "b-movie" fairly often here on this blog but I only use it because it is the common nomenclature for the fandom that surrounds the films I watch and enjoy. One person who understands this sentiment better than most is the world's greatest horror movie host, the great Mister Lobo.


Mister Lobo
Mister Lobo hosts Cinema Insomnia and MC's many events across the country, and attends numerous conventions yearly where he meets fans. He has a podcast, an amazing online store, and is the head honcho at his own network, OSI74




Mister Lobo has a difficult job, and I often feel he doesn't receive what's owed to him for all of his hard work. But he's an artist, and like all artists he has to hustle and keep going on. Without him, and his ethos of "they're not bad movies, just misunderstood", how would the uncultured learn about such classics like "Gigantis, the Fire Monster", "Starcrash", and so many others.



I've done my best to archive a list of horror hosts here on this blog, because I have an unwavering respect for them and what they do. Without these strange films I don't know if my life would have as much strength to it. The arts, I feel, is what keeps us alive. If you'd like a more complete list of hosts, check out this amazing resource: E-Gor's Chamber of TV Horror Hosts


Can you spot the hidden "Bob"?

Mister Lobo also founded an exclusive secret society for fans of his show and "misunderstood movies". You too can become a member of the Sleepless Knights of Insomnia. Mister Lobo, as a member of The Church of the SubGenius, and as a Living Saint of The Church of Ed Wood, has done the world as service by trying to deflate the phrase "b-movie".


www.unarius.org
It would be truly poor of me to fail to mention some of my more serious studies. I should also note that I take everything mentioned on this page serious and to heart as I have learned a great deal from all of it. The same can of course be said about my relationship with The Unarius Academy of Science. 


Ruth Norman, URIEL - www.unarius.org

I have been a student of Unarius slightly longer than I have been a SubGenius. Even still, both are important to me for different reasons. I have learned so much about who I am through Unarius, and with them I have course corrected my life to become so much more positive than I once was. The folks who run the Star Center in California are such lovely people, and I treasure their friendship so much. Whenever they come to NYC I always make sure to make time for time so I can help them out at the local NewLife Convention. 



Hercules & Athena - http://herculesinvictus.net

Through Unarius I met other amazing people, in particular I met Hercules Invictus and his wife Athena Victory, who are both wonderful people and true compatriots in my spiritual journey. They just get me, and we have had amazing conversations. And actually, it may have been Hercules and Athena who first told me about the Discordians and the Principia Discordia over a cup of coffee while I was visiting them in Tenafly, New Jersey. 



http://reformed-druids.org/

Another group I am currently studying with is The Reformed Druids of Gaia. Currently, I'm just a 1st degree but I hope to move up in the ranks as time goes on.  Being a city boy like I am, I never really had the opportunity to live in nature. I mean I'm pretty grateful for that, but I do like nature from time-to-time, and I was hoping that through my studies with the Druids I could find a deeper connection with the natural world. I don't have any real deep thoughts so far about this group; I only started studying with them a few months back, but they seem very nice. 




And there are of course other groups I've communicated with. 

AMORC, for example, has been around for a very long time and is still the best on-going spirituality-by-mail organization there is. There are a few lodges here in NYC that I have yet to visit, but there's enough material online that I don't feel like there's a need for that just yet. I do appreciate how they're open to all people, and aren't restricted by gender like other spiritual fraternities. 

lluminatiam (or Illuminati as they like to call themselves now) seems to be a semi-serious group that sells t-shirts and posters alongside their books. They claim to be THE Illumanti, but that's definitely not true. Still, they a nice group and they really encourage members to seek success, and to think positive. I believe I purchased a pendant from them once. 

Happy Science, a Japanese religion, is filled with some wonderful people, and I am friends with a lot of them. I attended one of their temples for a year and I never felt pressured to do anything but be myself. I hear they have a strange reputation in Japan, but here in the US they seem pretty mellow. 

In general, I can appreciate any spiritual pathway that allows me to be myself. The problem I have with so many religions around the world is how they use their power to shape the minds of people to become who *they* want those people to become rather than letting their followers be themselves. 



I'm always willing to experiment with my own belief system. And I love finding strange new ways to view the world. Our differences should always be celebrated, and no one should ever have to be normal. 

Reverend Guimo, DDiv
An inhumanly awkward basement dwelling blogger, toy collector & ordained holy person. B-movie fan. Usually inebriated. Sometimes a spider.

1 comment:

  1. In undergrad I double-majored and took a TON of religion/philosophy. University of Detroit Mercy. Glad to know more about you! RRDMM

    ReplyDelete